Wednesday, May 07, 2014

Confessions of a foodaholic...

My name is Suzie Spitfyre and...after all this time (68 weigh-ins!)...I am still a food addict.

Starting weight - January 16th, 2013 - 294lbs  
53rd weigh-in - January 22th, 2014 - 151.8lbs
54th weigh-in - January 29th, 2014 - 144.3lbs
55th weigh-in - February 5th, 2014 - 154.8lbs
56th weigh-in - February 12th, 2014 - 146.1lbs
57th weigh-in - February 19th, 2014 - 143.7lbs
58th weigh-in - February 26th, 2014 - 145.7lbs
59th weigh-in - March 5th, 2014 - 141.4lbs
60th weigh-in - March 12th, 2014 - 145.1lbs
61st weigh-in - March19th, 2014 - 149.4lbs
62nd weigh-in - March  26th, 2014 - 143.3lbs
63rd weigh-in - April 2nd, 2014 - 147.1lbs
64th weigh-in - April 9th, 2014 - 147.4lbs
65th weigh-in - April 16th, 2014 - 140.7lbs
66th weigh-in - April 23rd, 2014 - 141lbs
67th weigh-in - April 30th, 2014 - 149.3lbs
68th weigh-in - May 7th, 2014 - 144.1lbs

After losing 5.2lbs this week...and the mandatory happy dance that comes with...I looked back over my food journals to see why I had such a gain the week before.  I knew I'd taken in a lot more refined carbs in the last few weeks than usual, but what else was going on?  I'll tell you.  Denial.  

And here I thought I was just indulging a little bit, turns out it was a bit more than a bit.  So I scrolled back through weeks of online food and exercise journals (my exercise has remained consistent BTW) only to see that, yes...I'd been overdoing it in the food department...and for the most part, getting away with it.  Month after month I was eating healthy nutritious food during the week and then indulging on weekends or special nights out.  Oftentimes, imbibing alcohol lead to a loss of resolve to eat healthily and liberties were taken in the form of potato chips, yaki soba, and ginger cookies.   

Interesting.

Check it out, my first real binge on junk food (since starting this whole thing on January 16th, 2013) was Superbowl Sunday, and February 5th to the 11th is the last week that I ate only nutritious food and stuck to my portion sizes without going over my quota calorie-wise.

54th weigh-in - January 29th, 2014 - 144.3lbs - The week before Super Bowl Sunday
55th weigh-in - February 5th, 2014 - 154.8lbs - Popped up 10.5 pounds 56th weigh-in - February 12th, 2014 - 146.1lbs - 1 week of controlled clean eating and exercise, and the result is a loss of  8.7 pounds.

And then here's this past week compared to the previous 2 weeks...


66th weigh-in - April 23rd, 2014 - 141lbs - I went up a bit from the week before, but no big deal (less than a pound)
67th weigh-in - April 30th, 2014 - 149.3lbs - See what happens when I over eat and over drink?
68th weigh-in - May 7th, 2014 - 144.1lbs - Re-visited portion sizes, didn't skip any meals, didn't over drink, and voilĂ ...lost 5.2 of the 8.3 I gained the previous week.  I'm cool with that.

Let's talk denial now.  How is it possible that I haven't looked back and compared my last week to week before and to the week before that etc.?  Maybe I couldn't face what was written out there in cyberspace...or, I am a good Buddhist and I followed what I wrote about on Saturday, February 15th. 2014:


"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."

I would like to think it's the latter, rather than the former...but it may just be a bit of both.  And, here's the thing, it doesn't really matter.  The point is, I know what I've done, and I know where I'm going.  And right now, I'm just loving life...I just have to learn to not celebrate it with copious amounts of food and wine.  That way history will not repeat itself.

Thursday, May 01, 2014

Congratulations, it's a food baby!

Sushi Spitfyre
My tummy.  My stomach has been relatively flat (considering all the excess skin) for the last few months...but lately, I have noticed something.  Something that happens after a big meal or after a weekend of indulging...the food baby.  I remember when girls at MAC would complain about their "food babies" and I would have no idea what they were talking about, except for now.  You see, at 294 pounds, if you eat a big meal, there's no way to notice any sort of difference in your physique...other than the mild discomfort that comes with overeating.  Now, I get it.  When I have larger portions, or if I have a weekend of indulgence, then I am inevitably blessed (for lack of a better word) with a "food baby."  This is not something that I can take a pill for, nor can I utilise any sort of contraception to negate any unwanted consequences...the only way to avoid this procreation is abstinence.

Is it time to revisit correct portion sizes?!  I think so.

In the last few weeks, I have been with child.  One that only becomes apparent after eating too many potatoes and sometimes, to my chagrin, after fabulous weekends of imbibing.  Mondays and Tuesdays are when I get some serious bloating and the telltale swollen abdomen that comes with progeny begat of wine and rich fare.  Am I preggers?  No.  Does my husband notice?  No, not if he knows what's good for him.  BUT, someone else does.  Someone I see regularly and who apparently looks me up and down a bit more than I thought he did.  Sneaky ninja.

I have been fighting the good fight for about a year and half now...and looking down at my cereal bowl the other day, I think perhaps my portions are creeping up on me.  Breakfast means 1/3 of a cup of high-fibre, sugar-free cereal, 100g of fat-free, sugar-free yogourt, 1/8 of a cup of nuts, and some sort of fruit.  So, how could I possibly let this get out of control?!  Well, I was free-pouring the cereal, I was scooping the yogourt with a giant spoon, cutting up however many nuts I wanted, and then adding A LOT of fruit...not just 1 green banana, more like 2 bananas and possibly a bunch of strawberries too.  Is this bad?  No, none of that black and white thinking for me...but perhaps I was being a bit too generous with the free-stylings of this dish.  And, I'm not going to lie, I have also been eyeballing a lot of other portions as well.  Is this okay?!  Yes, of course, intuitive eating is something I wish I could do.  Am I ready for it yet?!  Possibly not.  Not if I want to get to my goal of 137 pounds.

Yesterday was my weigh-in day, and I was up...up from last week...up to a February/March weight...up the most I think I've ever been up actually.  What am I having?  Twins!?

Starting weight - January 16th, 2013 - 294lbs

53rd weigh-in - January 22th, 2014 - 151.8lbs
54th weigh-in - January 29th, 2014 - 144.3lbs
55th weigh-in - February 5th, 2014 - 154.8lbs
56th weigh-in - February 12th, 2014 - 146.1lbs
57th weigh-in - February 19th, 2014 - 143.7lbs
58th weigh-in - February 26th, 2014 - 145.7lbs
59th weigh-in - March 5th, 2014 - 141.4lbs
60th weigh-in - March 12th, 2014 - 145.1lbs
61st weigh-in - March19th, 2014 - 149.4lbs
62nd weigh-in - March  26th, 2014 - 143.3lbs
63rd weigh-in - April 2nd, 2014 - 147.1lbs
64th weigh-in - April 9th, 2014 - 147.4lbs
65th weigh-in - April 16th, 2014 - 140.7lbs
66th weigh-in - April 23rd, 2014 - 141lbs
67th weigh-in - April 30th, 2014 - 149.3lbs


Time to get down to my "pre-pregnancy" weight of 140.7...that's the lowest I've been so far.  I know I can get there, I've done it before, and this is how I'm going to do it:  

  1. Clean eating:  I will eat well balanced, appropriately portioned meals.  I will not eat processed foods (or as few as possible), only whole grains, lean proteins, and fruit and veg.  For extra accountability, I will also blog everything I eat...enter SEE FOOD!  A photographic journey of accountability.  
  2. Clean drinking:  No more alcohol!  At least not until my birthday, I may have a sip or two then, but for the next 10 days I will be drinking loads of water, and a whole bunch of tea.  All will be featured in SEE FOOD!
  3. Dirty Training (that sounds a whole lot better when I say #eatcleantraindirty) Haha...how about just "training:"  I will follow the ninja's instructions, I will double up when I need to, and not go into over-training mode because I feel guilty for something or another. 
I know you're not supposed to eat seafood when you're "with child" but I am going to SEE FOOD it up so that I am held accountable...nothing like laying it all out there.  If I eat it or drink it, you will see it...which is kinda the way I feel about this food baby that I have strapped to my front right now.  No more whining (or wining) about this, now is the time for action!