Yay! Homework.

I am a nerd.  If you know me, then you know this to be true.  

I like school and learning, I like raising my hand and participating.  I will always aspire to be an A+ student, and I am not thrilled when I get anything less.  So when the #allgooddays ladies were given some homework, I was all about it.

We all have different reasons for signing up, we all have different backgrounds, situations, abilities, mentalities, and goals.  As I scroll through the introductions everyone has written, I am inspired, motivated, and come to the realisation that I am not alone.  I have spent the last 8 months trying to jump back on the wagon (oohhh...I hope it's the bandwagon!  SEE: another blog post about how fun that would be!), I have not been comfortable in my skin, my head, or the world really.  I've been closing myself off and losing myself in the process.  I should have listened to my mother, she told me to get out and surround myself with people.  Easier said than done.  Anyway, homework...and community, that is what I am supposed to be talking about.  Michele gave us an assignment as part of our commitment ceremony(?), and though I don't know any of these other women, they are my tribe.  United in our quest to live our best lives.  This community is all about action...we will quit, start, visit, accept, honour, make, see, learn, give, eat, have, be, act, grow, invent...and if I may add my own verb IMPROVE our lives in the process.

Day 2 of January badassery.  Day 2 of my commitment to the #allgooddays challenge, and day 11 (feels like one million) of this cold.  I have no energy, I am coughing up a storm, and I have about 11 million 30 day challenge exercises to complete because of my level of enthusiasm yesterday.  Honestly, I feel like a push-up may make my head explode.  Can I delay for one more day without it sounding like an excuse?  I WILL NOT QUIT.  But, I may actually need to rest a bit...and keep eating a clean diet with lots of fluids.

Now, does anyone know the calorie count for cough syrup?

No seriously...are we talking like 35 per tablespoon or what?

I'm feeling a little horse...

Chomping at the bit and ready to go!

In addition the #allgooddays challenge, I set a bunch of goals on my food journaling app, and decided to start a 30 cardio challenge, a 30 day abs challenge, a 30 day arm challenge, a 30 day butt challenge, a 30 day pushup challenge, and a 30 day squat challenge (all of which were miraculously already on my smart phone from resolutions ago).  Yes, that may have been overkill...but I am nothing if not enthusiastic.  Planning is the fun part...and lists are great too, along with these apps, and lest we forget count down clocks!  Ooohhhh...the excitement of it all!  I may have over done the screen time.  I seemed to be viewing the world through blue coloured glasses.

Time to disconnect from all devices.

First night, Full moon:  Unplugged, I did what any normal person would do on this night and began to shuffle a fairly large deck of cards.  Why?  Because I didn't have an extra daruma on hand to wish upon and colour in an eye.  And, because you have to forecast your spirit animal guides for each month of the new year, you know?  Haha...maybe you don't.  For me, it's a way to focus.  It gives me an idea of what to work on over the next year as I return to my healthy happy active place.  And also, PONIES! 

All oracle cards are from THE WILD UNKNOWN ANIMAL SPIRIT deck.

Horse was the overall theme of 2018 and what an inspiring card it was!  Horse represents momentum, freedom, expansive energy and force - I like the way this is going!  A horse to ride through the rest of the year towards my goal.  Also, I grew up riding horses...so hopefully, it's like muscle memory. 

"Building physical stamina (exercise) and mental focus (meditation) are the secret weapons behind the horse's legacy." - All quotations from Kim Krans' THE WILD UNKNOWN ANIMAL SPIRIT GUIDEBOOK

Oh, so everyone and their horse is telling me to get back to exercising.  I guess I had better pay attention.  But it's true, when's the last time that you saw a fat horse?  They are few and far between.  Before I even started this #ALLGOODDAYS challenge, I signed up for a SHE RECOVERS: Sacred Pause Saturday workshop facilitated by my yogini guru, Taryn Strong.  I used to go to Taryn's yoga for recovery every Tuesday night.  It was my hour to disconnect and just be in my body.  I remember loving it...and being surprised at what my body would do.  I also remember joining up about a month into a pretty insane training regimen and about 15 pounds lost.  So this time it's going to be different.  It may just be my reintroduction to moving my body, but more importantly I am ready for the spiritual side of yoga.  The side that has been sorely lacking in my life as of late.  Since stopping regular exercise, I feel like I have gotten waaay more bitter and judgemental, and I don't want to be that way.  I want to be more present and mindful...and you know...nice.  When I don't practice self-love and self-care, I seem to stop projecting love and care towards others.  Oh gods, all the clichés are true!  Whatever, this is me trotting towards  better place for my mind, body, and spirit.

As for January, I pulled the bear.  The beginning of the year, a perfect time for waking from spiritual hibernation, and for starting anew.

"At first the movement and effort is difficult, but the bear knows it's time to awaken and move toward the dawning light.  The bear card represents an individual on the cusp of new directions and personal transformation."   

I have already said that these cards are a way for me to focus, I see bear as a metaphor for my seeing the light.  My recovery from unhealthy habits, mindsets, and self sabotage.  Time to walk a different path, time to find my purpose again.  I am a stereotype...here we go again.

Namaste on track this time.

SIDE NOTE:  When I turned out all the lights and tucked myself into bed, there was this noticeable red glow around me.  Oh my gods, I was seeing my aura!  No, wait!  I opened my eyes, looked up, and I had forgotten to turn off one single light...my red resin Buddha head.  Buddha the enlightened one was shining down upon me.  Coincidence?  I think not.

#ALLGOODDAYS

If I weren't dying of whatever plague this is going around Victoria (and more specifically in that little dark cloud over my head that has been following me around for the better part of 9 days), I would most likely have posted more today than in all of 2016...but that didn't happen because I was in bed or resting or coughing so hard I thought my head would explode.  So I'm behind, but I can catch up.

Also, I joined a #allgooddays challenge.  I was impulsive and thought I should throw 50 dollars at accountability, and my former employee's mother (I wonder if she remembers me), because, like the foundation of all great ideas, I saw something about it on Facebook. 

Those of you who don't know my history, here it is in a nutshell:

I have struggled with my weight for the better part of 20 years.  And have lost and gained what seems like a thousand pounds.  And most recently I was a superstar health challenge participant, and then I wasn't....and I lost my ninja...and now I am fat and am getting stuck in sports bras again.  This challenge is the reclamation of my badassery, if you will.

2013 - 294 pounds, blah blah blah health challenge, ninja-in-training, popped ACL

2014 - 139 pounds, blah blah blah health challenge mentor, n-in-t, reconstructed ACL 

2015 - 165 pounds, blah blah blah h.c. mentor part 2, ninja-in-training, with & without ninja

2016 - 200 pounds, blah blah blah ninja-on-and-off, belt test injury, no more ninja

2017 - 250 pounds, blah blah blah work, home, food, wine, repeat, sleep, sleep, sleep...

2018 - 286 pounds, blah blah blah I gotta do something about this.  Again.

And today, I updated all the apps, tweaked the fitbits, unboxed the runners, squeezed into the sausage casing I call pants, threw on a Star Wars T-shirt, and donned a hoodie, and did a grocery shop for all the foods that when put into my fridge will really just be ingredients.  Even if I lack energy because of the pox placed on my house...I can't wait to kick this challenge's ass...and my own in the process.

And go!

Blogaffair 2018

Ah!  Nice to see you, Bloggy Bloggertons.  We have to stop meeting like this...under that big magical moon.

The beginning is always so engaging and fulfilling.  I get butterflies around you, thinking of what is to come.  I promise to be true and you give me so much freedom...but sometimes I take liberties.  Forget to check in.  But when I wake up to you the next morning...with all those things swirling in my head that I want to say to you, well, you know me, I can't resist a little morning write.  If I don't get to it early, sometimes I don't get to it at all.  And I've been a bit fickle in the last couple of years...and I feel like I want to get to know you again. 

I'm sorry our rendez-vous have been few and far between as of late...but let's rekindle that old flame, shall we?

Mama Spitfyre needs a bit of mojo. 

Happy New Year

x