Changeology 101

At present, I am blogging in the lobby of the Crystal Pool.  The room is not busy as the early morning coffee-drinking-chatty-cathys have dispersed; however, there is a steady flow of people through the automatic doors.  I have been displaced by someone with their head down on the table in "my office" - several people have pointed this out, I have told them I like to mix it up.  Truth be told, I would rather have sat in my cosy corner tucked away in the darkened alcove.

Change is hard.

Having said that, change is also the only constant in life.  So why do we find it so difficult?  Shouldn't we be used to it by now?  Shouldn't we embrace new perspectives?  Meet challenges with open arms and courage?  Yes.  But do we?  No, not necessarily.  This is something a lot of people, including myself, have to work on.  I'm an archaeologist and a reminiscer going on futurist and forward thinker.  Oh, I still want to sit at "my table," but I am content in the knowledge that all things happen for a reason.

Change.  Evolution.  Adaptation.

It's a good thing I'm seated at another table, because the Heart and Stroke Foundation has surprised the front desk staff and started setting up a blood pressure checking station in the now brightly lit cranny.  Interesting.  Maybe I should get my blood pressure checked.  Last year, I was on the higher side of normal, I wonder what I'm at now?  First, I had to fill out a form.  Name, birthday, etc. etc. etc.  Then the quizzy part:
 

Do you smoke? No, yes, how much?

Do you drink? No, yes, how much?

Do you eat at least 5 servings of fruit and veg a day? No, yes, sometimes.  More like 10!

Do you exercise? No, yes, how much? Can I have an extra piece of paper? Or should I just write this response on the back?

After I filled out the form, the woman behind the table said, "I thought it might be you."  Haha...recognition, I was in the TC again on Tuesday.  And, then she told me that I got all the questions right!  Oh goodie, I hadn't realised I was getting graded, but I'm glad I got 100%, might not have had a GPA of 4.0 if it had been a year ago.  My blood pressure certainly wasn't 103 over 65.  After I was done with my readings, I was told that I had the heart rate of a marathon runner.  WHAT?  Positive change.  Apparently, anyone who has a heart rate between 40-60 beats per minute is categorised as "adult athlete" - I'm at 45.  MIJO Sport athlete and ninja-in-training indeed!

Survival of the fittest. 

Though the last year has not been "a walk in the park" (more like many, in fact, wind sprints in the park), I have survived...and have acquired a level of fitness that I never thought possible.

¹change

verb \ˈchānj\

 

: to become different
: to make (someone or something) different

: to become something else

²change 

noun \ˈchānj\

:  the act, process, or result of changing: as   

a :  alteration <a change in the weather> 

b :  transformation <a time of vast social change> <going through changes> 

c :  substitution <a change of scenery>

Over the last 51 weeks, I have become something different, I have transformed, and the scenery changed along the way.  Change became a good thing for me, despite the challenges it presented.  

It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad. - C. S. Lewis

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.
Charles Darwin
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_change.html#uywrzeihsEz9yGi7.99

 

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.
Charles Darwin
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_change.html#uywrzeihsEz9yGi7.99

 

 

Ready to take the stage...to change...to hatch and avoid being a bad egg?  

Apparently, there are 5 stages of change according to the transtheoretical model developed by James Rochaska and Carlo DiClemente.  At any given point in the process of change, individuals fall into 1 of the 5 stages.  Successful completion of each stage is dependent on implementation of various strategies.  Most of the research associated with this model has to do with addiction, though it is also applicable to substantial lifestyle changes...lucky for us! 
 
Stage 1 - Precontemplation - At this point, individuals are oblivious to the necessity of change.  They are not cognisant that there is a problem.  This could be due to failed attempts at amending certain behaviours or just a lack of awareness altogether.  In order to push past this stage, individuals must come to the realisation that change is needed in order to accomplish a goal.

Big Mama Spitfyre - Stage 1 - Eating deep fried alligator and drinking frozen margaritas in New Orleans, Louisiana, Suzie embraces soul food and laid back southern culture.  

Stage 2 - Contemplation - Now, individuals are aware that change is required and/or desired, but lack conviction.  Unwanted consequences of unhealthy behaviour are weighed against the challenges of lifestyle change.  Contemplation phase is marked by the individuals recognition of the problem and an openness to change.  It is the "list of pros and cons stage."  In order to graduate to the next level, rumination must turn into development.

Sprained Suzie - Stage 2 - Spraining her ankle on a deceptively level looking slab of flagstone while on vacation, Suzie returns to Canada unable to walk.  Various doctors cite body habitus as a reason for the severity of the injury.  Suzie finally realises her unhealthy lifestyle has lead to some dire consequences. 

Stage 3 - Preparation - This is the planning stage of things.  Individuals may research how to be successful in their attempt to change, small steps may be taken to decrease capitulating, and stimuli that trigger unhealthy behaviour will possibly be avoided.  Goals will be established during this phase - SMART goals, hopefully.       

TC Health Challenge participant Suzie Spitfyre - Stage 3 - Suzie amends her diet as a New Years resolution, applies for the Health Challenge and is chosen.  She has her first meeting with the ninja, and together they set some smart goals for the next 3 month period.     

Stage 4 - Action - Plans are followed at this stage of the game.  In order to affect the change desired, individuals apply strategies to ensure the successful cessation of unhealthy practices.  In order to maintain changed behaviour, temptations must be resisted and skills practiced in order to avoid slipping back into past habits.  Self generated and external reinforcement support systems put in place. 

Ninja-in-training Sujira - Stage 4 - Eating a diet rich in fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains, going to the Crystal Pool & Fitness Centre 6 days a week to work out, training twice a week with a ninja, practicing yoga twice a week with Anahata Moon Yoga, Suzie follows doctors', trainers', and dietitian's orders and has no plans of stopping!  She loses 52 pounds during the health challenge and another 48 in the following 4 months.

Stage 5 - Maintenance - This stage begins 6 months after the termination of unhealthy behaviour when the individual's new routine is stalwart and consistent.  New lifestyle has been fully embraced and energy is now focused on fortifying strategies to prevent relapse.  The individual has essentially re-invented themselves through positive change.

Iron Goddess Spitfyre - Stage 5 - From August to January, Spitfyre uses her steely resolve and iron will power to overcome her demons.  She continues her journey to health by eating a balanced diet and leading a very active lifestyle.  Suzie commences taekwondo classes with MIJO Sport and enrolls in the Eating Disorder's Programme offered through HealthLink BC.  Group classes strengthen her commitment to a wholesome relationship with food, and taekwondo hones her physical health and fitness, while offering mental and spiritual development.  She continues to work on her blog, hoping that it may be the catalyst that readers need to start on their own journeys towards health.  (Yes, I'm talking directly to you guys.)

So, why the spiral diagram?  Well, don't expect change to be a linear and straightforward process.  Though all these steps are neatly laid out to flow one into the other life is rarely so forthright - expect a bit of lateral movement, no movement at all, or even reverse movement.  It is important to remember that even if there is some regression, if something can be learned from the experience then it is not all negative.  Occasionally, it takes a slip-up to protect against future vulnerabilities.  And, what's that cliché?  If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!    

Suzie's advice to those wanting to adopt a healthy lifestyle through diet and exercise: tips on how to ride the merry-go-round of change without spiraling out of control.

• Ensure that you are self-motivated because only you can change your world - make sure you are committed to the process.  Change is largely a mental game. Practice mindfulness.
• Surround yourself with role models, friends, family, and people who are supportive of your new lifestyle - build positive experiences.
• Set SMART goals - Aspirations should be specific, measurable, actionable, realistic, and timely.
• Stop behaviour that interferes with a healthy lifestyle, avoid situations that could lead to capitulation, and decrease apparently irrelevant actions.  Use wise mind and coping strategies.
• Stay positive, remember that one step forward followed by one step back isn't the end of the world, it's the cha-cha!

The road to good health is a long and sometimes arduous journey, but if you have a destination in mind, a good map, are not afraid to ask for directions, fill the car with good peeps, play some cool tunes, pack some wholesome snacks, stay hydrated, and positive...you will arrive safe and sound right where you expected.  If you veer off track, there's always GPS...and I assure you, it will not tell you:  "Stop, you've gone in the wrong direction.  All is lost, give up now."  No, it'll tell you to make a U-turn at the next available opportunity.  And, don't be afraid to change direction, you never know where you'll end up...and most of the time it's a much better place than where you started.  Trust me.

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change. - Charles Darwin

TRICK-OR-TREAT!?!?!

Happy Hallowe'en from Dr. Frank-N-Furter

I had a very HAPPY HALLOWE'EN, Samhain, New Year, Day of the Dead, All Saints and All Souls Days...whatever you want to call it.

Like every good spook on All Hallow's Eve, I wrote some New Year's resolutions on pieces of paper which I then set alight and dropped into a cauldron.  As the leaves on the trees wither and die, so too should some of my bad habits, right?  And, yes, I still have some of those even after 10 months of healthy eating and exercising.  So with this turn of the year's wheel, I will attempt to bid adieu to some of my more unsavoury quirks.

I have been attending the EatingDisorders Programme provided by the Ministry of Child and Family Development every Thursday for the last few months.  As you know, my relationship with food has been somewhat troubled for many years...suffice it to say that I used to dive into several bags of potato chips, down 2 litres of cola, and gorge on endless combinations of mac n' cheese, ramen noodles, and canned pasta whenever I would get upset, stressed, bored...or feel any strong emotion.  It was not a healthy practice, because after stuffing my face full of junk food, I would feel physically ill, and then the shame and guilt of such a pig out would set in.  But, food and I also liked to

Karl Lagerfeld and his date, the Sweet Transvestite!

celebrate with each other.  Have a great day?  Yes, well, let's order greasy burgers, pizza, Chinese, poutine, whatever...it didn't matter, but let's not forget to get chips and pop from the store...and if we get enough food for 6 people, then we can keep eating the take-away for the next day and a half.  Mmm yummy...and I'll start my diet on Monday.  Good plan!  And, famous last words.  Needless to say, my diet...or rather lifestyle overhaul...didn't start until January 16th of this year, and has been chugging along pretty nicely since.  So why attend the Eating Disorders Programme?  Well, because once a foodaholic, always a foodaholic.  I may be in recovery, but I will always have a tendency to overeat even if it goes against my better judgement.

My GP Dr. Laura Phillips, who is the most supportive, understanding, and comprehensive doctor in the world, turned me onto the eating disorders programme after I discussed an inappropriate new inclination to skip meals, or restrict my food.  Last November and December, I was talking to her about my compulsive binge eating.  There was no better high than losing myself in a junk food orgy...and now, it seems, I'm taking cues from my high school skinny-self who ate very little because of her sweetheart's take on thick thighs.  What am I doing?  Why am I doing it?  I get it, I've done a little transferal thing...why eat less and exercise more when I can adopt another eating disordered behaviour?  Sticking to a healthy well balanced diet that keeps my metabolism going all day, well, that's just too damn normal innit? Far too logical for me, why don't I swap one problem for another?  Haha...at least I'm aware of the situation.  It's a trick or treat kind of a thing.  And, as I've given up treats, it gets a little tricky.

Zombie Suzie...at the gym.  Yes, I worked out in this.

Before attending group sessions, I had a preliminary phone interview with someone about my eating habits.  And, following that, I had a one-on-one hour-long chat with a clinical counsellor.  Both experiences led me to ruminate over the how and why of my eating.  No real problems with food growing up, my parents encouraged healthy meals with the occasional treat, I exercised regularly and took part in sport.  I suppose it was my first real boyfriend who made me question the amount of food that was going in my mouth.  So, I just stopped eating as much...because apparently if you eat less, you are more attractive?  It doesn't really make sense, but that's how I saw it.  It must have been in Grade 12 that I first experimented with restrictive eating.  Skip breakfast, eat a recess snack, have lunch, and dinner if I was with my folks, possibly no dinner if I was with my beau.  And then everyone's happy, right?  Well, apart from me who was kinda hungry.

Then in university, I remember getting ready to go to dinner with my new boyfriend "cute boy from my archaeology class," and I asked him if I could wear the outfit that I had put on.  He looked at me as if I were crazy for asking.  But, I had become accustomed to asking for BF approval.  (And, I swore that I would never let a boy control me like that!  Gah!  I had been conditioned.)  So, later when I asked him what I should eat at the restaurant, he told me anything I wanted, of course.  Really?  Cool!  I'll have steak and lobster...just kidding.  

So how did that lead to binge eating?  Well, in my case when I cast off the shackles of restraint I embraced fairly normal eating again.  And, when I say normal, I mean normal in the sense that I wasn't counting calories and I ate a healthy well rounded diet...with the occasional sweet or savoury goodie thrown in.  I was embracing intuitive eating:  Eat when you're hungry, stop when you're full.  Duh!  Then I broke up with that university boyfriend, and I was sad.  So sad and mad at myself for causing the break-up, and irrationally angry with men, boys I should say...so how will I get back at them?  Well, I'll be wickedly clever, sharp witted, and wildly successful at anything I set my mind to...and then, and then they'll think..."Why did I ever break up with her?  She is sooooo fabulous."  Or I could just stew in my dorm room and eat mi goreng before I go to sleep pretty much every night.  Hmmm...what to do, what to do?

Thus began my own personal confederation of food and emotion.  You told me what to eat?  I will take back that power by eating what I like, when I like, and however much I like, thank you very much!  Who has the power now, Bucko?  Oh, and slightly larger thighs.  Awww crap.  My cunning plan has side effects, and appears to be backfiring!  Now add a lack of varsity field hockey to the mix and we've got the freshman 15....except that I was a sophomore, so I doubled it.

This Halloween.  Batman needed  little help, obviously.

And 18 years later, I was almost 300 pounds.  Okay, I may have left out some of the details of how that came to be...but you don't need to know the specifics, you need to know that I started equating food with comfort, pleasure, happiness, solace, and a bunch of other nouns that describe a state of being.  I ate for stress relief, to alleviate emotional pain, and as a way of coping with the ups and downs of life.  I was a totally normal kid (well, to a certain extent) and I gradually turned myself into a food addict who became completely obsessed with eating.

Now, on Thursdays, I go to group meetings and hang with a small number of women all affected by binge eating.  We are lead by 2 or 3 counsellors at a time who cover topics as varied as “using your wise mind,” “dialectical abstinence,” and “primary and secondary emotions”…and something about arrows.  Very fancy stuff...and it seems to be working, or at least I seem to be applying it, not only to my eating, but also every other aspect of my life.  Now I pretty much feel like I’m screwed up in lots of other ways…but at least I’m working on it.