Stuck in reruns...

Though a lot has happened in the last few weeks, I feel like I've been stuck on repeat.  Obviously, this blog is dedicated to my health and fitness journey...so why, oh why, do I rerun my least favourite episodes?!  The ones normal viewers would glance at and then change the channel in favour of something a bit more exciting, fresh, edgy.

It's December 1st and I haven't blogged in over 2 months...it's almost like last season's programming went a little downhill and I'm trying to come up with an exciting fall opener that will have people raving about the clever writers that must have been hired to keep the show alive, even in it's umpteenth season.

I have also come to the realisation that this programme may not be about weight.  I am already the Biggest Loser, I have completed the Taking If Off component of this performance, and as the TC Health Challenge concluded in April of 2013 - the Celebrity Weight Loss component has certainly come to a close.  Now, for those that want to see some reality TV...despite how terrible it is...let me rerun my Weigh-In Wednesdays for the last few months. 

Starting weight - January 16th, 2013 - 294lbs

53rd weigh-in - January 22th, 2014 - 151.8lbs

54th weigh-in - January 29th, 2014 - 144.3lbs

55th weigh-in - February 5th, 2014 - 154.8lbs

56th weigh-in - February 12th, 2014 - 146.1lbs

57th weigh-in - February 19th, 2014 - 143.7lbs

58th weigh-in - February 26th, 2014 - 145.7lbs

59th weigh-in - March 5th, 2014 - 141.4lbs

60th weigh-in - March 12th, 2014 - 145.1lbs

61st weigh-in - March19th, 2014 - 149.4lbs

62nd weigh-in - March  26th, 2014 - 143.3lbs

63rd weigh-in - April 2nd, 2014 - 147.1lbs

64th weigh-in - April 9th, 2014 - 147.4lbs

65th weigh-in - April 16th, 2014 - 140.7lbs

66th weigh-in - April 23rd, 2014 - 141lbs

67th weigh-in - April 30th, 2014 - 149.3lbs

68th weigh-in - May 7th, 2014 - 144.1lbs 

69th weigh-in - May 14th, 2014 - 140.5lbs

And this is where I left you...fortunately, my programme continued over the summer hiatus...but wasn't aired because of a writer's strike.

 

It was shortly after this weigh-in that our protagonist returned to work.  After a year and a half of living the life health and fitness, credit card bills and reality forced her back into the rat race.  If only it were a race, she would have ribboned for sure.

70th weigh-in - May 21st, 2014 - 143.3lbs

71st weigh-in - May 28th, 2014 - 144.3lbs 

72nd weigh-in - June 4th, 2014 - 157.8lbs 

73rd weigh-in - June 11th, 2014 - 141.3lbs 

After moving from a management role and into an artist's position with her cosmetics company, Spitfyre was excited to show off all her hard work by donning a kick-ass outfit and making a guest appearance at a training session in Vancouver.

74th weigh-in - June 18th, 2014 - 138.7lbs

On her 74th weigh-in, Spitfyre came the closest she had ever come to reaching her elusive goal weight.  After 18 months of clean eating and training dirty, she celebrated her success in Vancouver with her Croatian Conscience.  

75th weigh-in - June 25th, 2014 - 143.9lbs

76th weigh-in - July 2nd, 2014 - 148.8lbs

Success has it's consequences, after getting so close to her goal, Spitfyre indulged in old habits...

 

77th weigh-in - July 9th, 2014 - 150.3lbs

78th weigh-in - July 16th, 2014 - 153.3lbs

79th weigh-in - July 23rd, 2014 - 157.1lbs

80th weigh-in - July 30th, 2014 -  149.4lbs

81st weigh-in - August 6th, 2014 - 150.4lbs

82nd weigh-in - August 13th, 2014 - 153.3lbs

83rd weigh-in - August 20th, 2014 - 155.3lbs

84th weigh-in - August 27th, 2014 - 155.3lbs

85th weigh-in - September 3rd, 2014 - 161.9lbs

86th weigh-in - September 10th, 2014 - 154.2lbs

87th weigh-in - September 17th, 2014 - 163.6lbs

88th weigh-in - September 24th, 2014 - 154.4lbs

89th weigh-in - October 1st, 2014 - 152lbs

90th weigh-in - October 8th, 2014 - 150.8lbs

91st weigh-in - October 15th, 2014 - 156lbs

92nd weigh-in - October 22nd, 2014 - 149.2lbs

93rd weigh-in - October 29th, 2014 - 152.9lbs

94th weigh-in - November 5th, 2014 -156.7lbs

95th weigh-in - November 12th. 2014 - 154.7lbs

96th weigh-in - November 19th, 2014 - 156lbs

Twenty weeks of reruns.  Up, down, up, down, up, down, up up, down down, same, down, up, this show is getting pretty boring, I hope I don't get cancelled.  Of course, that's up to me, isn't it?!?  Not the cancelled thing, the boring bit.  I need some more inspiration, I need to find my audience again, I need to stop my daytime soap opera saga and get back into writing dark comedy, drama, and sitcoms.  

I never understood why people watch soap operas.  The pace is so slow, something afforded to a daily programme.  At least with weeklies, you see the episode and look forward to the next one.  And time passes, but you're not witness to the mundane details of the characters' existence.  The writers are lazy, but you can be when you are writing about the day to day minutia of life.  Interest builds when you have an economy of air time, how do you tell the story completely in one hour a week?  You need to be clever.  If it's a serial, you have most likely established your characters and their back stories and you can focus on events and situations that intrigue, humour, and excite the viewer.  So that's what I'm going to do...start this season with a bang! 

Ask me why I haven't been blogging lately...

lack·a·dai·si·cal

adjective \ˌla-kə-ˈdā-zi-kəl\

Definition of LACKADAISICAL

 : lacking life, spirit, or zest : languid

— lack·a·dai·si·cal·ly adverb

See lackadaisical defined for English-language learners »

See lackadaisical defined for kids »

Examples of LACKADAISICAL

1. His teachers did not approve of his lackadaisical approach to homework.
2. <feeling particularly lackadaisical in the summer heat, they lazily tossed a ball back and forth>

"You can't have your cake and eat it too!"

"You can't have your cake and eat it too" is an idiom that implies that you cannot or should not have it both ways.  For me, it could mean, "Suzie Spitfyre, stick to your new ways no matter how Marie Antoinette tries to peer pressure you...lest you forget how unhealthy you once were."  Or, on more of a philosophical level it might mean, "Your progress is dependent on acknowledging and letting go of the past and going into the future living your life according to your new code of behaviour."  Or, pragmatically, and knowing my history, it could be interpreted as, "Put down the fork.  Why the "F" is there cake here in the first place?"  But, having written quite a few blog posts in the recent past that seem a little more descriptive and less humourous, this proverb for me begs the question...

Does losing weight mean losing funny?OMG...how am I going to be able to make fun of myself, if I have much less of which to make fun? 

In January, posts poking fun at my weight ran the gamut from my initial email begging the Times

Colonist to help me "end my life as I know it" to a ridiculous account on how monkeys make you thinner.  By February, I had renamed Mardis Gras "Big Boned Tuesday" and admitted to the world that I was a Hobbit.  In March, I succumbed to yogattitude and learned to sit 'n' spin.  April had me chanting the mantra "There are zero calories in eye candy!" and saw the end of the Times Colonist Health Challenge.  In May, my posts became fewer and far between due in part to that appointment with the bariatric surgeon who said I was a perfect candidate for sleeve gastrectomy, maybe...but I have a ninja that believes I can do this without surgery.  My confidence bruised, I cranked out a measly 7 entries that month, and in June, only 4 posts were written.  Now it's July, and I've had it with only writing about weigh-ins!  Far be it from me to not want to celebrate the losses, after all I'm very proud of losing 1/3 of my body, but where's the hilarity in that?

I know I'm on a pretty strict diet, but gimme back my cake, universe!  I'm hungry for more!

I will find a way to lose weight, get healthy, and continue to see humour in the process.  So how do I get funny back?  Well, after going back into the archives of my blog and rereading some of the old posts I was reminded that comedy lies in the absurdity of life.  Then, I was trying to squash my boobs into an unruly sports bra that was far too small and would probably have to be cut off of me; and now, I'm on my back, with my legs up in the air, hanging onto my toes rocking back and forth on a yoga mat trying to hold in a fart and stifle laughter after catching the eye of my neighbour...what is this?  Grade 5?  No, but I guess it means I can have my cake and eat it too.    

Good thing it's Camp Crystal Pool & Fitness Centre...and not Camp Crystal Lake!

Upon getting out of the car one morning (from time to time I bum a ride instead of walking or riding my bike...I know, sounds lazy...for me anyway) my husband makes a joke about dropping me off at day camp.  The sign on the door of the Crystal says Summer camps - meet in park.  And going to the gym, well, it's kinda like camp...fit camp...and no, I haven't graduated to bootcamp yet. 

Monday through Friday I go to the gym early in the morning with a backpack that is far too big for me, though it doesn't dwarf me like some of the bags on the other kids.  Inside, I have a packed lunch which is full of healthy snacks and, generally, a sammi that is prepared for me by someone other than myself...thank you to my darling husband.  I brown bag it so that I am not tempted by the vending machines that line the walls of the lobby.  The sign above says Stay Active Eat Healthy at the Crystal Pool & Fitness Centre.  From what I've seen in the halls of this rec centre, the sign does not deter small children from begging their parents for chips, candy, and chocolate, but then again...they can't read...so it's not their fault.  Dear parents, please think of your little ones and offer them an apple instead of the junk that they desire, you don't want them to end up like me (DISCLAIMER: My parents always offered apples, it was I who got addicted to junk food much later in life!)   At least if the kiddies are at the pool, they're active.  I myself currently suffer from episodic tantrums when I am not allowed to drink wine.  What?  I need wine, I gave up everything else I liked to ingest...and I am certainly active. 

Camp clown, nerd, and instigator...Suzie Spitfyre.

After entering the building, I check-in by swiping my card at the front desk....just in case there's a head count.  As you can probably imagine I have made many friends at the Crystal over the last 7 months; I know the administrators, the front desk peeps, the counsellors...erm...trainers, and some of the other kids...um...members.  Plays well with others - that's me.  I start my day at camp unsupervised (I know, it scares me too).  I run, ride, walk, dance, or skip my way through 1 or 2 hours of cardio, while my counsellor presides over everyone in the entire fitness centre (you know he's important because his shirt says FITNESS STAFF.) Occasionally, the ninja/counsellor/trainer/Jonathan comes over to talk to me, give me further instruction, or simply to punch me in the shoulder...it's okay, it just means he likes me.

On Tuesdays and Fridays, after my preliminary play time (i.e. sweating on some sort of cardio equipment) there's recess!  I eat my snack of fresh fruits, veggies, or puffed crispy rice things that come in chip flavours because I am an adult and I can read that sign in the lobby...and you don't what to see what kind of hissy fit I would throw if I didn't have a little dill, barbecue, salt 'n' vinegar, or sour cream and onion in my life.  

The ninja shares his wisdom...hiiiiyyyaaa!

My camp counsellor's name is Jonathan...and he pays me special attention on both of these days.  He makes me play fun games like Duck, Duck, Goose...no wait, it's called Stairs, Stairs, Burpees...and then you run back and forth with a 25 pound dumbbell in each hand...weird how I'm the only one playing though.  Sometimes he teaches me to fight, just in case things get out of control on the playground, I guess...I have a mean left hook, but I particularly enjoy the shin kicks.  We've done some skipping (never in the hallways as it's verboten...and there's a sign) but I can't seem to get it right...even when I sing: "Cinderella dressed in yella, went downtown to meet her fella!"  Truth be told, I think he makes things up as he goes along, and I like that, it keeps things interesting.  What I don't understand is why I keep getting time-outs!  Wall sit for a minute, plank for 45 seconds - Why am I being punished for doing everything he says!?

My week days at Camp Crystal Pool & Fitness Centre are filled with free athletics, recess, guided activities, and lunch.  And what do I do after breaking for a meal and before I go home?  Well, I get to play on the computer and write ridiculous nonsense like this.  Though all that I do at the moment seems like play, it has been and continues to be an unexpected and welcome education.  My counsellor has guided me through both physical and mental challenges with such care and attention that I don't think I'll ever be able to express my gratitude for all that he has done.  For me, summer camp has lasted for an entire 7 months, and I really don't want it to end...I'm simply not ready to go back to school.    

I am sooooooooooooooooo bad.

No, I didn't cheat on my diet...or skip a day of exercise.

I just haven't been blogging recently.  1 post a week is simply not good enough for me...perhaps that's why I've been a little more anxious lately...blogging is my therapy.  And, it's not like I don't have anything to talk about.  I have plenty of ideas plugged into my phone or even noted on this site (yet unpublished), but they haven't yet made the cut as I haven't had a chance to go over them and edit.  Must be more disciplined!  Perhaps it's due to my active social life?  Well, not exactly, I did have a birthday and my best friend from Winnipeg was in town...but those are just excuses.  I think it's because I've been spending longer working out and more quality with the dog.  Haha...

Promise to be better.  See what happens when I'm left to my own devices?

x

Suzie

Do something every day that makes you sweat...

...AND THEN SEND ME THE PROOF!  I'll post it on my Sweat T-Shirt Contest Page!

When I started this blog 3 months ago, I took a picture every week or so of my sweaty t-shirt...and then posted it for all to see, but I think it would be much more interesting if you would take a picture of yourself and send it to me.  

After all, I wanted to inspire people to get moving because, honestly, if I could do it, anyone could...and a lot of you did.  And, many of you have told me your stories.  Here's your opportunity to show me (and the people of the interweb) the proof.  

I want to see your workout gear, your funny t-shirts, your downward dog yoga pants, your gym hair...I want to see you sweat! 

Send your submissions to me at suziespitfyre@gmail.com and tell me how you got so sweaty in the first place!

Weigh-in Wednesday # 9

What happens when you get your period, and then there's Saint Patrick's Day, and they coincide in the same week, and your weight loss for the previous weigh-in Wednesday was -0.6 pounds?  

The McGillicuddys @ Lucky Bar, Victoria, BC

And then the weather is disagreeable on Wednesday, and you really want to go to the Crystal Fools Run/Walking Clinic but the elements are too formidable...and your best friend is coming from Montreal and you really want to be good, but you also want your loft to be immaculate and even though she's known you for 13 years...you still want to impress?

Well, you concede to working out for 2 hours instead of the 3 on which you intended.

This is my life now...apparently 2 hours split between morning and evening is not enough.  The ninja insists that I work out twice a day, which I have done, but this week I've been working out for longer in the morning, and then again in the evening...if I can.  So when I skipped the walking clinic on hump day.  I knew I'd be in for some "missing a workout guilt."

Not that cleaning the house isn't cardio...because it is...but it's hard to justify sweating to the sounds of AC/DC and Black Flag (I don't know why I clean the house to such music, but I do) whilst doing the laundry and dusting the coffee table.  If I'm not at the Crystal Pool & Fitness Centre sweating, I feel penitent.  I'm not religious, but dear gods!

Starting weight:  292.1
1st weigh-in:  286.8
2nd weigh-in:  280.1
3rd weigh-in:  276.4
4th weigh-in:  274.1
5th weigh-in:  270.6
6th weigh-in:  266.2
7th weigh-in:  262
8th weigh-in:  261.4

9th weigh-in:  257.7

Weigh-in Wednesday number 9...FRAK!  Is it 9 already?  STRESS...does this mean I only have my ninja for 3 more weeks?  Must figure out way to keep up with the training after this Times Colonist Health Challenge is over.  And also, YES!  I lost 3.7 pounds...wish it were more, but what can you do.  I would pray to St. Patrick, but I'm not a Catholic, nor do I think he would save me, in fact, I think he prevented me from losing more.  Damn you, delicious Guinness, but thank you for giving the world the most amazing stout in the universe.

So, as I weighed-in and lost weight, Victoria decided to rain, sleet, and hail on Wednesday, and I helped Stéffi clean the house and anticipated Del (The Oracle Delfine's) arrival.

Elevenses, Luncheon, and Tea...oh my!

Not only do I look like a Hobbit, short and round with a mop of curly hair, but my new eating regimen is reminiscent of THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING:
 

Aragorn: Gentlemen, we do not stop 'til nightfall.
Pippin: What about breakfast?
Aragorn: You've already had it.
Pippin: We've had one, yes. What about second breakfast?
Merry: I don't think he knows about second breakfast, Pip.
Pippin: What about elevenses? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them, doesn't he?
Merry: I wouldn't count on it.  

Three days a week I eat breakfast, go to the gym and do some cardio, then I eat a snack at "recess" while trying to figure out something clever to say on the blog.  I can write for hours and frequently do in the lobby of the Crystal Pool & Fitness Centre (come say hi), during this time I will eat again before walking home.  When I'm at home, I have some sort of snack before I figure out dinner.  Then when Stéphane comes home, we eat some supper, let it settle and then go back to the gym for workout number 2.  I try and have a little something after the gym...a piece of fruit or a yogourt perhaps.  And that is eating 6 times a day...I had no idea when I started this that I would be force feeding myself all day.  Haha...I'm not even that hungry half the time.  The rest of the week, I do the same...though I have a different workout schedule.

Well, if this is what I need to do to lose the Hobbit and gain the Elf...I gotta do what I gotta do.

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

Super awesomesauce workout this morning, then I head to my "office" in the lobby of the Crystal Pool & Fitness Centre to do a little blogging...and I am thwarted.

It's like red threw up all over the place...red lanterns, red table cloths, red decorations, red writing on the windows, and little Chinese ladies wearing red Mandarin collared jackets and cheongsams.  There is quite the impressive spread of home-made food that has been brought in by all these fabulous, rowdy women.  The sign outside reads:  The ladies invite you to our Chinese New Year Luncheon, Feb 4, 11 30 AM.

It should have read:  Suzie, run.  Run for your life...好吃 chow mein has appeared in the most unlikely of places.  Confucius say, caution: egg rolls and sticky rice ahead!

Much as I would have liked to have had a little taste of the year of the snake...I honoured the lunar new year by briskly walking home with the music cranked, dancing a little lion dance at each red light.  Rawr!  Or "slither"..as the case may be.

Don't let the bastards grind you down.

I’ve been blogging backwards…a bit…trying to get everything sorted in the right order.  It’s a bit weird, because just when something amazing happens that I want to write about, I think…”Oh, I should really write about last Monday when I met with my dietitian.”  But what I have to say right now cannot wait…this is important.

I got a message from a high school friend the other night, he’s a personal trainer, and it simply said:  “Sneak a bit of brown rice into ya.”  Now, I have really, really changed the way that I’ve been eating, and I may have been bragging via a certain social media site that I had “skipped carbs with dinner” and then mentioned that I was going out after that for another workout.  He just reminded me that I needed fuel for said workout…and it reminded me of my power struggle…this is harder than I thought.

Food is power to me.  If I control food, I am in control…and that goes both ways, overeating AND under eating.

Here’s an interesting side note…excuse me while I go on a tangent…my spell check thinks that overeating is spelled correctly, but that undereating is not a word.  Now what does that say about the evolution of the English language?

This is not the racehorse, this is Tulsa..crazy jumper pony.

When I was super fit in high school I restricted calories and dropped down to 109 pounds or so, but I never thought that was good enough.  I was a serious and dedicated equestrian training a young racehorse to compete over fences, a half-back with a killer drive storming the field with the first 11, I helped start the first women’s soccer team my school had seen, I was the spirit-filled Caister-Mackenzie house captain, and if I wasn’t doing something sporty, I was singing and dancing with the drama troop.  I had a rockin’ bod…and you know what?  I thought I was fat.  I would look into the mirror and turn to the side and grab my stomach and pull it flat.  I would look down at my muscular thighs and curse them for being so “big.”

This is not a pity party.  I hostess a lot of parties, but I will never throw one of those!  This is a full-on rant.  

If you are reading this and you happen to know a teenager who’s into all the right things, tell them how amazing they are every day.  Encourage them to keep it up, and talk, talk, talk, talk to them about everything.  Tell them they’re beautiful and that you love them for being exactly who they are.  My parents and friends did all of that, and it only took a couple of stupid boys to tear my self esteem to shreds.

And teenage boys, if you’re reading this, man up and tell those gorgeous girls just how wonderful they are...I don’t care if you’re scared.  Tell them.  Tell them, and you’ll be a hero...not only mine, but theirs...for life.  Who says nice guys finish last?  It simply will not do to tell that girl 20 years later after she's lost the thing that she never knew she had.

It's so cliché, but if I could have a conversation with my teenage self I would tell her keep on keeping on.  Eat healthy, stay active, think positively, go for it, trust in yourself, and don't let the bastards grind you down. 

Eoin, thanks for telling me 20 years later...you'll never know how good that made me feel.

"Get it back girl!"

I will.

Procrastination? Who? Me?

There are new blog entries in the archive.  I wrote things out of order...form your own conclusions.  I'm prepared...haha...

Almost Famous

 

And we're in the paper!

Read all about us in the Times Colonist: 

Health Challengers do it for fitness and family

Fitness tips for Week One prepare you for success 

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last.  Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”  - Zig Zigler