Saturday, December 07, 2013

Winter is coming!

As I sit here in the lobby of the Crystal Pool & Fitness Centre, Old Man Winter has taken over outside.  The sun is shining, the sky is blue, the leaves are off the trees, and there is a bit of snow on the ground.  It is lovely out there.

And you know what?  Winter never used to phase me.  Last year, I had my extra layers that I couldn't take off, but now…now I am affected by something that I haven’t experienced in a very long time…the cold.

When I started gaining weight in Montréal, perhaps it was not because of my awkward way of dealing with emotional issues and food fetish, perhaps it was just a survival technique.  I arrived back in La Belle Ville one very sunny and humidly hot August.  Then in September, I started plumping up in preparation for the coming winter.  I indulged on steamés, poutine, pizza and fries (it’s weird, but it happens in Montréal, don’t ask me why) rather than acorns, berries, and
seeds.  There’s a reason that the all the months leading up to the Canadian deep freeze end in BER…though personally, I think they should end in BRRR…in Québec, however, they would probably end in “beurre” and be 1 and a ½ times larger than the rest of the word.  But, when the temperature fell, I was alright.  PERK:  Gain 15 pounds September through December?  Wear 1 less layer under your wool coat this January!  Come to think of it, why didn’t I just go into hibernation?  I could have avoided the cold altogether!   

Now, I can’t leave the house without fleece or down or wool.  It’s a bit ridiculous…how am I supposed to be a stylish Montréaler who still wears leather in negative 20 degrees Celsius if I don’t have natural insulation to keep me warm?  I suppose I’ll have to come to terms with the fact that I will now feel the cold…and be less appetizing to roaming bands of cannibals…unless they are health-conscience and prefer a lower fat option.

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