Weigh-In Wednesday #4

The problem with Wednesday is...that every Wednesday I expect a loss.  A giant loss.  And I know I've been working out like a fiend, and I know that I've been eating the right food at the right times, and I know when I step on that scale in the wee hours of the morning on a Wednesday that all my hard work will be justified.

I have been getting out of bed earlier and earlier on Wednesdays.  I weigh-in at 5AM, 6AM, and then again at 7AM...get up, evacuate (in the Austin Powers sense), and then step on the scale in all my naked glory.  And then when I'm not satisfied, I go back to bed and I sleep for an hour...and then I do it again...and again.  I'm obsessed.  I admit it.  I am completely obsessed.  And I'm not proud of that...but when I see the numbers fall...I am thrilled.  I am justified in my efforts.

Grumpy Suzie.

Starting weight:  292.1

1st weigh-in:  286.8

2nd weigh-in:  280.1

3rd weigh-in:  276.4

4th weigh-in:  274.1

This week I'm down 2.3 pounds.

Fabulous, right?  Yes...it is, but I'm not really that proud...though I should be.  30 pounds in my first month, said Jonathan.  And that makes me 12 pounds shy of my goal...which disappoints me...because, let's be honest, if someone sets a goal for you, you try desperately to achieve it.  But, it's not for a lack of trying, perhaps it's because I'm just adjusting too soon.  I know my body, and I know that when I try and do something...I go all out.  I'm going to give 'er!  Perhaps my body is saying, relax a little...I get it...we're working out like we used to...chill.  I got it.  So I have to give just a bit more.  For sure, I know my heart rate isn't going up the same way that it used to on the elliptical, treadmill, staircase, bike...I know that...I can practically tell you what my heart rate is at before I put my hands on the sensors.  And I have to try harder.  And that, my friends...that is hard...because I'm already giving it my all.

That's how it's got to be...just when it seems to get a little easier, that's when you have to kick it up a notch.

Damn you, notches.

It's been a month, and I didn't expect this to be easy, but I did expect it to get easier.  I suppose it's easier to get up the stairs to my apartment, in fact, I can run up the stairs to my apartment without breaking a sweat...that's progress.  I can appreciate that.  And I can get into a pair of jeans...that, I couldn't do before I started this journey a month ago.  So that's pretty good.  In fact, I can wear any pair of pants in my closet, and not just the stretchy knit fabric ones...so that's a pretty darn amazing.  And that makes me feel hella good.

I always said I wouldn't host a pity party...so, I'm just going to slip into my recently kinda loose-fitting bathing suit and prance around the apartment feeling great about my not so perfect, but also slightly smaller frame as I do my laundry.  Thank you very much.

Muah!