Monday, July 22, 2013

The 12 Trials of Suzie Spitfyre

January 22nd, 2013, Crystal Pool & Fitness Centre, my very first training session with the ninja.  Morning cardio:  20 minutes of stationary bike, 20 minutes of treadmill, and a further 20 minutes on the elliptical = Sweaty mess (Read about my 1st ninja workout here!)  Afternoon training:  1 hour of fitness testing - wall sit, sit and reach, push ups, planking, etc. = I think I'm gonna die.  Weight: 287 pounds...ish.

July 12th, 2013, Crystal Pool & Fitness Centre, was a brand spankin' new completely mental training session with the ninja.  Just when I think I'm getting good at this working out thing, he switches it up, and it's all Greek to me...again!  Morning cardio:  30 minute walk to the gym, 30 minutes of my running programme (walk 2, jog 2, run 1) on the treadmill followed by an attempted spin on the bike, until I admitted to being tired (and also a sweaty mess as always) and Jonathan told me to rest up and eat something...and now I know why.  Weight: 200 pounds..ish.

I have been told that the easier you sweat the better shape you are in, so I must be in REALLY good shape now.  I sweat a lot.  There is always an extra set of clothing (or two) in my rucksack, because the sweaty "V"s down the front of my t-shirts pictured in Sweat T-shirt Contest have snowballed into fully drenched articles of clothing...I'm talking shirts AND pants.  Seriously, you haven't survived a Suzie workout unless your pants are dripping into your shoes.  Ewwww...and awesome, at the same time.  If only I were wearing a chiton, then my elegant wet drapery would be fit for the pediment, metopes, or frieze of the Parthenon.  Alas, I am not adorned in Greek costume complete with diadem though sometimes my curls mat up in a rather Medusa-like way.     

When the ninja, or perhaps I should I call him the επιστάτης δούλων ("slave driver" in Greek), asked me what I had in my backpack that fateful Friday, I simply replied, "Clothes...and food...and boxing gloves (hey, you never know)...and wraps...and my biking shoes, and resealable plastic bags for wet clothes, obviously."  He promptly took me into the office (don't worry, I wasn't in the moment), and began to dump my bag on the desk until he realised it wasn't his bag and then he gave it back to me.  So, I dumped it out and then we headed to the weight room.

In the weight room, he found two discs that equated 18 kilograms and promptly put them in my bag - who am I?  Herakles?  No.  We downsized slightly, I think to 30 or 25 pounds, and I put my bag on my back, adjusted the straps and started working out.  Yes, I ran stairs with approximately 32 percent of the weight that I have lost in said bag.  I ran stairs and alternated with burpees...and no, I'm not suing him because in the process I got smacked in the head by my backpack...which by the way is waaaaaay too big and though the straps tighten, and the belt works, the little clip that fastens around my chest that should secure the pack even further does NOT even function because of two very obvious reasons.  

After stairs and burpees x 5, many other strength and cardio exercises ensued.  Wearing my bag on the eliptical proved interesting, as did carrying an aditional 50 pounds of dumbells back and forth umpteen times.  Needless to say, I stayed true to tradition and sweated my arse off.  If only!  But, I'm getting there.  I did buy my first pair of size 14 jeans shortly after this hour long 12-trials-of-Heraklesesque workout.  Though, I did it because I knew it was good for me, and not because I had to atone for killing my sons because I was driven mad by my father's wife, Hera - look it up, Greek heroes aren't as heroic or squeaky clean as Disney portrays them.  And after this workout, neither was I!

No comments:

Post a Comment